Where is my mind

feet on the air and head on the ground

I realized last week that I’ve sent less than 10 newsletters since I moved to Vermont two years ago. It’s not because I don’t have anything to say. Far from it. Pretty sure it’s because I don’t have the same brain that I did when I moved here.

live look at my grey matter

I don’t need an MRI to know there’s been some major construction when it comes to my neuropathways. I can practically feel it. Cognitively, I don’t recognize myself. I approach problems differently. My outlook on life is not what it used to be. So of course, my relationship to writing was going to change too.

Writing was always my ~thing~. Producing is cool, it definitely requires creativity and quick thinking which are two of my strengths, but it’s not an art form. Being a producer means something different across industries, and a regular degular person has zero concept of that. It’s not the same.

A musician-producer friend of mine said they’ve experienced something similar with their relationship to music. We commiserated over how strange it feels to not do the things that were always a big part of our identities, things we had been doing for a long time, things that meant so much to us. Not in a good or bad way. Just strange.

And to be honest, I’m not even really interested in the doing the same writing that I used to do. I have no desire to pitch an essay ever again. I look at my old clips and I feel little connection to that writing anymore. Who was she?

It’s… strange. I don’t know how else to explain it. I’m trying to figure it out, trying to get back into the habit and I hope you’ll give me grace in the meantime.

Anyway, if you find neuroplasticity as interesting as I do:

Last fall, I spent 21 days drawing cows as part of a 21-day challenge with the 100 Day Project. Why cows? Because I wanted to do something fun, not overthink it, and Cow of the Day provided me with new material every morning. Commitment tends to be my weakness and I’m proud to say I didn’t miss a single day. I confused the hell out of most people who follow me on Instagram but I didn’t care. I did it for me.

The 100-Day Project starts Feb. 23. When my parents visited me last year, they dropped off boxes of old photos from my school days, teen years, college— life before digital cameras. So, I’m going to draw a different photo of Little Andrea. She was somethin’.

I’m trying to use Instagram less, and instead, I’m going to post the daily drawing on my Substack profile. I’ll do weekly accountability posts on here too. Curious to see how this goes. Let’s find out together, gang.