YKWIM #53: Frequently Asked Questions

(That Would Probably Be Asked If It Wasn't For Quarantine)

Hello, hello, happy Friday, how are you? Okay, let’s get into it.

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You probably have questions, I might just have answers.

This was supposed to go out last week but last week was… last week. So here it is!

Why? Why why why why why why why did you shave your head?

…. why not?

That’s a cop-out answer, but I have too many questions. Have you always wanted to do this?

No, no, never. I didn’t even want to shave my head a month ago. A younger version of myself would have never, ever, ever shaved her head, wouldn’t even considered it. Sometimes the desire to do something comes from a place you can’t even explain, even if it makes sense to you.

Did you do it yourself?

Most of it! My friend Tia helped me with the back and sides.

Anything surprise you?

I’m pleasantly pleased by my hairline— I never really noticed it before since there was always hair flopping in front of it. It was nice to find out my head has a nice shape. I hadn’t taken into consideration how much my hair cushioned my head on the pillow until I went to sleep that first night.

Do you regret it?

Nope.

Really?

Well, I will admit that I wasn’t missing my longer hair until I saw photos of Anne Hathaway and her bangs from The Devil Wears Prada on Instagram and I felt a twang of longing for my bangs, as annoying as the upkeep is.

Do you think you’ll keep it short?

Probably not. I didn’t do this with the intention of maintaining it, but I’ve been told that the growing out phase is tough, so we’ll see! I can’t predict anything. I couldn’t even predict that I was going to do this.

How have people reacted?

Much better than I would have predicted. The only group I was a little nervous about were my coworkers but they were totally cool. The vast majority have been very supportive, at least to my face. I’m sure there are faction of people in my life who do not approve but thankfully they have (mostly) kept their opinions to themselves, which is good because I don’t want to hear their gripes anyway.

Has anyone hit on you?

No, but I’m not going to places where people hit on other people. We’re supposed to be staying home since, you know, there’s a global pandemic and all. I haven’t been to a bar in six months.

Well, I get hit on at the grocery store, so it’s possible.

Cool for you?

Has anyone asked if you were sick or anything yet?

Surprisingly, no. I bought a new hat and my first (quite jarring) thought was that I resembled Emma Thompson in Wit, though it might be mostly because both hats are blue.

Wait, what does your hat mean?

It’s an ode to the film director Nora Ephron, duh.

I don’t get it. Why would you wear this?

This is the kind of thing you either get it or you don’t, and it’s okay if you’re the latter.

Oh, I get it, but WHERE did you get it?

Superyaki! The real question is if I get the Pink Slip t-shirt, would anyone else get it?

Did you know Nora Ephron hated her neck?

I’ve heard that, yes, particularly from some random woman at the farmers’ market.

Have you bought any wigs?

Not yet, but I definitely should.

Okay, but really, why?? Where did this come from? You don’t seem like the kind of person who would shave their head. And you don’t even want to keep it short?

I don’t think this is as complicated as it seems. I woke up one morning and realized that if I never shaved head, I would always wonder what it would have felt like and this was a very simple question to answer. It wasn’t something that had been nagging me or something that I had been wanting to do for a long time. It just hit me one morning and I followed through a few days later. I get that I don’t seem like that kind of person but I guess I am.

Some things can only happen under certain conditions and this is one of them. I wouldn’t have done this if I had to go into work everyday. When else would I ever have this opportunity, this summer? I also think my brain has been starved for dopamine and serotonin from lack of social interaction and doing this was like chugging a pitcher full of those feel-good chemicals.

Most of all, I did it for the action— the physical act of cutting off my own hair— and not the consequences. I recognize this is not how most people make decisions and I feel lucky in a way. It was extremely cathartic and I’ll probably write more about that later.

So, that’s why!

Last question: Which actress had the best shaved head?

Lots of good contenders out there—Charlize, Lupita, the aforementioned Anne Hathaway— and I have to go with Sigourney. Her shaved head was the only good part of Aliens 3.

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Hope I quenched your thirst for answers and hydrated your curiosity. Yes, I’m drinking a big glass of water right now, and you should too.

Somehow we’re halfway through August?? Who let that happen.

xoxo A