YKWIM #56 The Thrill of It, The Pain of It
Two sides of the same coin
Hey everybody, how’s it going? Rhetorical question, I know how it’s going, and despite our American cultural answer of “fine,” we all know the truth. Be nice to yourself. It’s not easy, I know that firsthand, yet still so necessary. Do some yoga stretches that wring out your spine like a washrag, pop some popcorn in the middle of the day, nap on your lunch break, put heavy cream in your coffee. All things I’ve done and endorse.
Alright, let’s roll on…
I’ve been really into roller skating videos lately. No particularly deep reason, they just look really cool and carefree. Doesn’t matter whether beginners and experts, I love them all. It’s like a vacation for my brain for 10 to 15 seconds at a time. It’s at the point where my entire Explore page on Instagram is just people on wheels.
The newbies make blooper reels set to “Clumsy” and it’s the best use of a Fergie song since Alanis covered My Humps.
Meanwhile, myself, I have zero desire to ever put on a pair of roller skates again in my life. It’s been easily 20 years since I’ve gone skating and that’s fine with me. I always thought roller derby looked really cool and then everyone would fall into a pile and I knew watching was enough for me. I mean, did you not see these blooper reels?
Even as a little kid who kept getting invited to ‘90s roller rink parties, to me, skating was just a way to get hurt. I don’t like pain! I don’t like falling down! It hurts! Why would I want to do this? I just didn’t get it until it hit me that I was looking at it wrong. It’s not the pain or even the possibility of it, it’s the thrill of not falling.
Everything we do is pain versus pleasure. Divide it like a pie chart and everyone’s pies would look crazy different. To me, roller skating is a big pie of pain, but for a lot of people, the pain slice is a sliver compared to pleasure.
And it doesn’t even have to be physical activities. You may or may not know, but I’m a great public speaker*. Whether I’m reading a piece I wrote, giving a speech, reciting something from memory, monologuing, whatever, I truly enjoy it. Still, my enjoyment doesn’t mean it’s always gone well. I’ve forgotten my words, I’ve lost my voice, I’ve been heckled, I’ve cried in front of a crowd, I’ve felt queasy, I’ve even disassociated from extreme anxiety. And yet! I still love it and those unpleasant experiences won’t keep me from doing it again. Compared to many others, some of whom may be reading this, public speaking is a major fear, a big pain pie. For me, it hasn’t lost the thrill.
Why is that? Maybe because I read out loud in class as a kid every chance I got, made jokes that taught me about comedic timing, and naturally have a more performative personality. Perhaps, possibly. And maybe I was a bad skater since those birthday parties were the only times I ever skated combined with my lack of balance and coordination. Probably. Still, it’s comforting to think that those pain/pleasure pie slices can change with practice and care. It’s also nice to know that you can be like, nah, I’m okay not lacing up. It’s just not for me.
*I originally wrote “I’m a pretty good public speaker” but I know I’m better than that and I’m tired of underselling myself. I am a great speaker and yes, I am available, I can even make a Zoom event entertaining, @ me.
Okay, everybody. Take care, wear protective gear when you skate, and be kind to yourselves.
Love, A
Hey pal, I appreciate that you opened this email today. I make a lot of mistakes as I write and edit this myself, hopefully you can overlook them. Links below to my website and social links. You can buy me a cup of coffee if you wish. Feel free to send along any questions or comments— andrea.laurion@gmail.com