YKWIM #60: How I'm getting through
Just barely, but it still counts
Things That Have Helped In These Terrible, Trying Times
Particularly as someone living in a swing state
I’m very excited to announce that I’m finally in a committed relationship. I had been wishy-washy for so long, unable to pick a winner, but I think now I’m settled for life. Friends, family, I’m in love with this weighted blanket. If you also love the feeling of the lead apron they put on you before taking x-rays at the dentist’s office, you might also love this. It really has made a huge difference with my anxiety. As with anything, consult your doctor if you have questions/concerns.
…What, you think I’d descend further into the depths of online dating in a global pandemic? Not my style. Still, nothing but love for all anyone out there trying to find love in a hopeless place, you’re the real optimists.My sister, who suffers from nasal polyps, walked in the apartment the other day was like, “Wait, did you bake cookies?” I did not bake cookies, I bought a $4 vanilla candle at Aldi and it’s so strong that even she could smell it. Our tastes in candles are very different—I prefer sweet/citrus/pine and she goes for more woodsy/leather. Obviously, if your tastes are more in line with hers than mine, it might not be for you. For everyone else, I’m happy to say this candle will give you the coziness of a bakery without the abrupt rise in your blood sugar level.
Three Fridays ago, I did a quick glance at Twitter and the first tweet I saw said something about how it was “the worst day ever.” A bit dramatic in a world of many worst days ever, I thought to myself, and I lived in that reality for five seconds before seeing the news. I felt nauseated yet scrolled through reactions for about ten minutes or so until the prognosticators started prognosticating and I knew it was making my anxiety spike even higher. I logged out of all my social media accounts, took a walk around my neighborhood, and then came back to watch a Christopher Guest movie. I stayed out of social media the rest of the weekend and that really helped. I’ll probably do the same this weekend too (My friend Madge recently wrote about doomscrolling that’s worth a read). It’s been hard during the pandemic to balance the fine line between connecting with people while staying far apart and getting caught up in the doomsday side. I’m better at knowing when I need a time-out, which is progress.
The fact that I can recognize these limits is a sign that things have changed a lot since the last election. Four years ago, I was on top of every news update. As if keeping up with everything was the way to show I was paying attention. Except, where did it get me? All I had to show for it was a lack of sleep and probably a crazy look in my eyes. I was grasping for control, a little hilarious since so much is out of my control and always will be. The fact that a bunch of people from Kentucky have so much power by way of the Senate Majority Leader infuriates me to no end. I can donate some money, but other than that, I have to let go. I’m trying. It’s hard. But I’m trying.
Here’s what I’ve done: I confirmed my ballot has been received. I’m good on the phone, so I’ve done some phone banking. I still have a stash of stamps from Costco and I’m going to send some letters next week with Vote Forward. I have not signed up to be a poll worker because having to stay in one place in the middle of the action will make me anxious and it’s not a good place for me. Knowing that about myself is important. So is taking lots of deep breaths, in and out. I don’t know what’s going to happen and neither does anyone else.
I need to drink some water and then go for a walk and maybe you do too. I’m doing my best and so are you. <3
Your pal,
Andrea
Thanks for reading the email ramblings of an anxious Andrea. There are probably lots of spelling and grammar mistakes, whoops. Links below to my website and social links. Here’s where you can buy me a cup of coffee and keep my energy level up. Feel free to send along any questions or comments to andrea.laurion@gmail.com. Byyyyyeeeee!!