YKWIM #81: Will you still love me when I got nothing but my achin' soul?
I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will
Just a heads up that this week’s newsletter concerns body image, which can be a triggering topic for some. Take care of yourselves, friends. xo
Hey pals, it’s been a minute, how’s it going? I'm finishing up a big project that has taken longer than I expected but the ending is on the horizon, thankfully. I have some socializing scheduled this weekend with pockets of down time for decompression, just as I like it.
Real talk: My body is not the same as it was a year ago. It makes sense, a lot has changed, and those changes will have an effect on my physical form, but it’s a lot easier to say that than it is to live it. Of course, we’re always changing, constantly, except most of the time we’re too busy preoccupied with our lives to notice. Or at least I am.
Some days are easier, some days are harder. This body got me through a global pandemic and I’m grateful for that. On the other hand… I have a rounder belly. My knee aches every once in a while, which it didn’t used to do, and with my bad ankle, it’s like read the room. My back hurt for a bit from habitual slouching until I got a better office chair. Even my astigmatism changed and I need a different contact prescription. I’m sure some of this is just getting older and not feeling as old as I technically am and all the weirdness that comes with that (see also: fellow older millennials reacting to the new Olivia Rodrigo album), which would have happened in Ordinary Time anyway.
I try to be okay with change. I try to have empathy for other people’s struggles. I try not to judge other people’s choices. I don’t often succeed in these attempts but I still try and keep trying.
I know I’m not alone in these complicated feelings. The thing about our bodies is it feels very alone. No one else knows what it’s like to exist in this body, with these particular peculiarities in this exact way, even if they’re able to relate. I once joked-not-joked with my therapist, a Boomer in her mid-60s, “Ugh, who knew getting older is actually really hard??!” She laughed and was like, “No shit, kid!”
Anyway, I’ve been feeling some way and maybe you have been too. I say it all the time but it’s true: It’s hard to be a person. Gotta go easy on ourselves.
Hope you’re nice to my friend this weekend (my friend being you, my friend).
Take care,
Andrea
Thank you for reading this. I write and edit this myself, so please forgive any spelling or grammar errors. Links to my social and website can be found below. If you’d like to buy me a cup of coffee here or here, I will say a cheers in your name. xoxo